- To get to know other members of your group better
- To learn how to resolve conflict in a healthy, Biblical manner
- To discuss three more of CVC’s core values
Note to Leaders
- We love you! CVC could not have groups without you. God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them (Hebrews 6:10, NIV).
- Have you ever overheard neighbors that got into a big argument? How did you feel listening in?
- Do you tend to weed your yard early in the spring as the weeds start to grow, or do you tend to procrastinate? What happens when you weed your yard early in the growing season? What happens when you wait too long?
- How did the adults in your family handle conflict in your home while you were growing up? How did that affect you?
- Do you think most Christians know how to resolve conflict in their relationships? Why or why not? If not, how should Christians learn how to resolve relational conflict in a healthy way?
For Study and Discussion:
Core Value 4: Community life in the church family is so honored that division and gossip are confronted quickly and clearly, and resolved in accordance with Biblical principles of fellowship and conflict resolution
Read Ephesians 4:29-32
- What is the key to not allowing unwholesome words to come out of our mouths?
- How do you develop more kindness and compassion as you relate to other people?
- Who taught you how to forgive someone else? Did it come naturally? Why or why not?
Read 2 Corinthians 12:20-21
- Some people act as though the problem with Christians acting inconsistently is something new. This has been a problem from the start, and the Apostle Paul had to deal with this in the churches he started.
- What were some of the behaviors that Paul was confronting in the Corinthian church? Do you struggle with gossip? With anger or rage? With arrogance? How can a church effectively deal with people who struggle with these issues in their sphere of relationships?
Read Romans 16:17-19
- What types of people should we be ware of? Why?
- What does it mean to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil? How does that work in everyday life?
How to resolve conflict Biblically:
Read Matthew 18:15-17
- Do not gossip or “vent” your frustration to just anyone; speak only to people who are either a part of the problem or a part of the solution.
- Pray through your part in the conflict and take responsibility for your shortcomings and sinful thoughts and behaviors.
- Die to “self” and hand the problem over to God. The Holy Spirit is better at changing someone’s heart than you are.
- Approach the person and explain the conflict. Stay on the “solution side” of the problem and don’t attack the person or raise your voice.
- If the person rejects you or your side of the issue, don’t give up. Bring one or two others along and try again.
- If the person rejects you or your side of the issue again, bring the issue to the church leadership to deal with it.
- Always pursue forgiveness in your own heart; never give up on this one. The goal is always reconciliation, but regardless of the other person you can find freedom in your own heart if you are able to eventually forgive.
For Further Discussion:
Core Value 5: Spiritual gifts discovery and utilization are essential aspects of discipleship for every believer.
Core Value 6:Ministry programs and activities are started, led, and grown by gifted men and women from the church family.
Starting October 5, CVC will embark on a Spiritual Adventure that will forever change our church! This Fall, we will study the series “Everyone’s a 10” and discover how our own abilities, background and spiritual gifts all come together for maximum impact in our family, our community and our world. God designed you to make a difference! Don’t miss out–you will have the chance to:
- Attend an “Adventure Group” to study and discuss the material as a group
- Read each day in the devotions which are available
- Discover how God has uniquely shaped you to have an impact
- Dive into ministry and impact your world
Think of a relationship where there is unresolved conflict. Read back through the passages that were studied for this session. Pray about how you might approach the person and talk through the issues you are dealing with.